Published on •Last updated
Written by Ryan Chiang
Do you want to write strong essays that'll help get you into UCLA?
In this article, you'll read and learn from 18 essays written by students who got recently accepted into UCLA and see how they did it.
If you're trying to get into the University of California, Los Angeles, these essays are a valuable resource and give you a peek into UCLA admissions.
Whether you're a student or parent of an applicant, you'll see what to do—and what not to do—when writing your UC essays.
How important are the UCLA essays?
And as of 2022, the UC system no longer uses your SAT and ACT scores to decide whether or not to admit students.
With no more test scores, that means your UC essays are even more important for your application. Besides your grades (GPA) and coursework, your essays are the most influential factor for your UC admissions.
Plus, UCLA is the most applied to school in the world, with well over 100,000 applicants each year. The University of California-Los Angeles acceptance rate is lower each year, which makes your essays even more important.
Since your UC essays matter so much, it's important to get them right.
What are the UC Personal Insight Question Prompts for 2022-23?
It's a mistake to think of the UC Personal Insight Questions (PIQs) as typical essays you'd write for a class.
Rather, the PIQs are a set of eight open-ended questions asked by the UC app. You must choose exactly four questions to respond to, and each response should be no more than 350 words.
Let's go over the UC Personal Insight Question prompts:
- Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.
- Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.
- What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?
- Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
- Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
- Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.
- What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
- Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?
It can be helpful to see how other students responded to the UC Personal Insight Questions.
And since UCLA is one of the hardest UC's to get into, along with UC Berkeley, students that get accepted tend to write outstanding essay responses to the PIQs.
18 UCLA Personal Insight Question Examples
Here are the 18 best UCLA accepted essays that worked written by accepted students for each Personal Insight Question prompt #1-8.
- Prompt #1: Leadership Experience
- Prompt #2: Creative Side
- Prompt #3: Greatest Talent or Skill
- Prompt #4: Educational Opportunity or Barrier
- Prompt #5: Significant Challenge
- Prompt #6: Academic Interest
- Prompt #7: Community Service
- Prompt #8: Standing Out
UCLA Example Essay #1: Orchestra Leadership
Why This Essay Works:
- Tells a Story: Gives context and explains how you got this leadership position. By explaining a backstory, it reveals your motivations and what drives you.
- Shows Takeaways and Lessons Learned: It's not enough to just talk about your achievements. Admissions officers are more interested in why they matter to you, and how you had an impact on others.
What They Might Improve:
- Fix Capitalization: It's not necessary to capitalize improper nouns like "violin", "viola", and "orchestra".
- Sentence Flow: Make sure your sentences aren't too long and don't have unnecessary breaks, which can interrupt the flow.
UCLA Example Essay #2: Volunteer Leadership
Why This Essay Works:
- Specific with Numbers: Use exact numbers whenever you can to create authenticity and make it realistic. In this essay, saying "three hundred" lunches makes things concrete.
- Connects to Academic Interests: Show how your past leadership achievements relate to what you want to do in college.
What They Might Improve:
- Stronger Conclusion: Make sure your conclusion isn't vague and has a concrete takeaway. Don't just use words like "this insight". Rather, rephrase that insight or draw a new idea from it.
- Sentence Structure: Having too long of sentences is a common mistake students make. Instead, splitting up complex sentences can make it easier to read.
UCLA Example Essay #3: Violin Creative Side
Why This Essay Works:
- Clearly Answers Prompt: For UC essays, being straightforward is not a bad thing. This essay starts off by clearly answering the prompt, before elaborating further.
What They Might Improve:
- Fix Capitalization: It's not necessary to capitalize improper nouns like "freshman" and "sophomore". An easy fix is to only capitalize proper nouns, like names of people and places.
- Explain What's Meaningful: Admissions officers want to know more than just "what you did," but also why it was meaningful to you. Try to focus on the impact of your achievements more than just what you did.
UCLA Example Essay #4: Improvised Comedy Creative Side
Why This Essay Works:
- Strong First Sentence: Starting off with interesting ideas is the best way to get the reader hooked. It doesn't need to be complicated, but find your most interesting idea and start there.
- Connects Multiple Extracurriculars: Finding multiple examples in your life to explain your answer can make your essay stronger. Rather than focusing on just one activity, how do your activites relate with a common theme?
- Great Conclusion: A strong conclusion is often one that expands on your ideas or connects to something more universal. Try restating your main idea and add a twist or expand on it.
What They Might Improve:
- Make Each Paragraph Distinct: Each paragraph should have one central idea or topic. It's better to split up your essay into many paragraphs because it makes it easier for the reader and better organized.
UCLA Example Essay #5: Team Player
Why This Essay Works:
- Uses Multiple Examples: Backing up your answer with various examples from your life makes your case stronger.
- Unique Take: Rather than thinking of a skill in the literal sense, this author uses a more abstract skill. Sharing your unique perspective is key to having interesting ideas.
What They Might Improve:
- Show Why It Matters: In addition to explaining your greatest skill or talent, you should tell why it is meaningful. What are the takeaways and how will you use this skill going forward in college?
UCLA Example Essay #6: Flute Greatest Talent
Why This Essay Works:
- Strong Hook: Use your best idea at the start to immediately make the reader interested. First impressions matter, and by having a compelling first paragraph, the tone of your essay is immediately better.
- Specific in Naming Things: Say the names of groups, places, and other things whenever you can. Being specific whenever possible makes you seem more relatable and makes your essay more interesting.
UCLA Example Essay #7: Optimism Greatest Skill
Why This Essay Works:
- Shows Impact of Your Skill: Whenever possible, try to show how your skill/talent has impacted others. Why is your skill important? And how will you use it going forward in life?
- Uses Humor: Having small moments of natural humor, when appropriate, makes for a more enjoyable essay. Even a small remark like "it’s difficult to convince residents that a macaroni necklace is worth getting out of bed for" is powerful.
- Recognizes Challenges: Nobody is perfect, and even with your greatest skill or talent there are likely still shortcomings. Recognizing your challenges is important to humanize yourself and shows self-awareness.
UCLA Example Essay #8: Significant Educational Opportunity
Why This Essay Works:
- Specific in Achievements: Being specific and saying "49 of around 500 applicants were accepted" creates credibility. It also helps admissions officers have context about your achievements and be able to infer how significant they really were.
What They Might Improve:
- Stronger First Sentence: Try starting your essay with ideas, rather than retelling events. Starting off with interesting ideas helps hook your reader, and you can later support those ideas with your experiences and achievements.
- Focus on Meaning: Emphasize what your takeaways were from this educational opportunity or barrier. Admissions officers are looking for what you learned, how it affected others, and how you'll use those lessons moving forward.
UCLA Example Essay #9: Working at Health Clinic
Why This Essay Works:
- Emphasizes the Impact: After talking about what opportunity you had or what barrier you overcame, focusing on the impact of that experience is what matters. Describing your emotions and lessons learned makes the significance of those events more clear.
What They Might Improve:
- Strong Hook: Focus on finding your best idea and using that as your first sentence. Often, starting off with a story or retelling what you did can come later and isn't as important.
UCLA Example Essay #10: Most Significant Challenge
Why This Essay Works:
- Vulnerable and Authentic: Talking about personal stories can be difficult, but often your vulnerable experiences have a lot of meaning. Being vulnerable also makes you more personable and relatable.
- Explains Realizations: Rather than focusing on what happened, focus on the impact of it and why it's meaningful. How will these past experiences and academic challenges affect you going forward?
What They Might Improve:
- Stronger Conclusion: Try to connect your ending back to the beginning while expanding on it or connecting it to a universal idea. Alternatively, leave your conclusion more open ended.
UCLA Example Essay #11: Educational Challenge
Why This Essay Works:
- Honesty: Authenticity is most important for your essays. By revealing personal details such as your family life and struggles, you can bring admissions officers into your world.
- Sense of Gratitude: Showing a sense of appreciation and self-awareness makes you immediately more likeable. Nobody succeeds alone, so how did others in your life help you overcome difficulties?
What They Might Improve:
- Provide Clarification: Some parts could be given more context, such as "why is your dad not as fluent in English?". You could use this as an opportunity to talk about your cultural background and create a more clear picture of yourself for the reader.
UCLA Example Essay #12: Self-Improvement Challenge
Why This Essay Works:
- Vulnerability: Showing your shortcomings and difficulties is important to reveal how you've grown and changed. Revealing your perspective and emotions also shows that you have self-awareness.
What They Might Improve:
- Provide More Explanation: Don't assume that the reader will remember everything about you. For essays like this, give more context. Answer questions that will come up in the reader's mind, like "Why did you have 22-hour days?".
UCLA Example Essay #13: Computer Science
Why This Essay Works:
- Connects Interests to Extracurriculars: Showing how your activities relate to your passions reveals your motivations and what drives you. By connecting to extracurriculars, it also creates a more complete picture of your application.
- Specific In Naming Things: Whenever you are able to, being specific is better than being vague. By naming programming languages and classes, the story becomes more compelling.
What They Might Improve:
- Explain Why These Things Interest You: What is the root aspect of your interests that intrigue you? Try explaining how you feel when doing these activities and what motivates you. Admissions officers want to know how these interests developed, and more importantly, why they developed.
UCLA Example Essay #14: Korean Big Toes
Why This Essay Works:
- Vivid Descriptions: Painting a picture can make your stories immediately more interesting. By using descriptive language and word choice, your stories have more life to them.
- Conclusion That Connects to Beginning: Try connecting your ending back to the beginning, but with a new perspective or take. By bringing your essay full circle, it creates a sense of cohesiveness.
What They Might Improve:
- Name Things Specifically: Rather than being general and saying "LGBT centers", the author could name one specifically. Since not everyone may be faimilar with the concept of "LGBT centers", it helps make your essay more concrete and easier to interpret.
UCLA Example Essay #15: Empowering Others Through Peer Tutoring
Why This Essay Works:
- Shows Their Realizations: Realizations and new understanding are how people change. That's why its important to look for what lessons you learned, and what you took away from your activities.
What They Might Improve:
- Explain Why: Try to predict what questions will arise in the reader's mind, and answer those questions. For this essay, one question that is unanswered is "Why did you never think you would tutor other people?".
UCLA Example Essay #16: LGBT
Why This Essay Works:
- Honest and Vulnerable: Talking about personal stories can be impactful. Often the most difficult stories are the ones that need to be shared.
- Explains Your Perspective and Emotions: Sharing how you felt in a certain moment can allow the reader to "be in your shoes." By telling your perspective, you allow admissions officers to better understand your experience.
What They Might Improve:
- Focus On Takeaways: Although stories are important, what matters more is the lessons and takeaways from those stories. The majority of your essay should be focused on those ideas, with a smaller portion where you talk about what actually happened.
UCLA Example Essay #17: Fostering Inclusive Leadership
Why This Essay Works:
- Strong Hook Sentence: Using a thought-provoking idea to start your sentence immediately draws the reader in. By having a unique take on the world, people want to read more and are interested by your thoughts.
- Using Examples to Explain: For abstract ideas and concepts, try using a real life example to make things more clear. Capture the essence of your ideas and find what is at the core of them.
UCLA Example Essay #18: Being Short
Why This Essay Works:
- Using Metaphors: Explaining something ordinary (like being short) in an unusual or not-so-common way can show your unique take on it. By using metaphors, you can connect seemingly unrelated ideas together.
What can you learn from these UCLA essays?
These UC essays are not perfect—nor should they be—but each has interesting ideas and a unique perspective.
Compared to some private university essays, UC essays are relatively straightforward.
So focus on making each UC essay express one interesting idea as your answer.
Here's my top 4 lessons for UCLA essays:
- Avoid too much storytelling and descriptions. You only have 350 words, so focus on ideas.
- Answer every part of the prompt, clearly. Avoid implying your answer. Make sure your idea is crystal clear and relevant.
- Showcase a different aspect of yourself with each essay. Avoid re-using topics, unless you're taking a very different angle.
- Show your thinking. As with all successful essays, your thinking is most important.
Also applying to UC Berkeley?
I've collected additional essays from admitted Cal students that are completely unique from these UCLA essays.
If you're interested, check out these our essays that worked for UC Berkeley.
Which UCLA essay that worked was your favorite? Let me know!
Meet the Author
I'm Ryan Chiang and I created EssaysThatWorked.com - a website dedicated to helping students and their families apply to college with confidence & ease. We publish the best college admissions essays from successful applicants every year to inspire and teach future students.
